Letting Go

Going through my old blog drafts, I found this short one written Congo-days, when we were still figuring out the conference. Maybe it will bless someone else who is yearning to LIVE. Grace to you all!

The golden sunbeams warmed my back as I followed my wobbly shadow down the red winding path.

I smiled at how empty and silent everything was – as if God was graciously allowing me a chance to be on my own in His creation.

I needed it. I had thought ‘Impossible’ was becoming ‘Possible’ but it all suddenly got confusing, I had thought some of my friends were turning to Jesus but was disappointed, I had thought that this week I would finally learn to die to self but hadn’t, and to top it all off, people kept asking me what I thought about things when I didn’t even have the slightest idea myself!

But now the grasses greeted me as they danced graceful in the breeze, and I paused impulsively to smile back the greeting and run my hand through the long slender blades of vibrant green. I gently broke the slender stem of a feathery white seed head. Holding it in my hand, I resumed my walk. The sun was a little lower now, and the orange-ish pebbles scattered on the road began to look old with thin shadows growing behind them. I turned to my piece of grass for company.

How can you spend all your life growing just to let go? I mused, cautiously touching the puffy seeds with the tips of my fingers. They clung to the stalk like scared children, trying to resist the merry breeze which twisted and twirled them good-naturedly. How can you let the breeze take your seeds wherever it will, not knowing where they will come to land?

As if in response to my question, one of the plump seeds of possibility came sailing off, tumbling all the way down to the pebbly road.

I’ve spent so much of my life grasping ashes, but now I’m finally learning to let Jesus give me seeds instead – valuable fruit with whispers of hope, wrapped in possibility. But if He asks me to let those go too….?

Another seed flew off, and a bird screamed pity overhead.

Jesus, I’ll let them go. You have my dreams, You have my desires, You have my hopes, You have my plans, You have my heart. And when the storms come and shake me bare, I’ll praise You still because that is what this life is all about –

letting go.

dying.

The road winds home and the seeds keep flying, and the sun dies behind me but my heart’s at rest and my heart’s at peace….

DAY FIVE

Saturday was the closing day of the conference. After a re-cap of the week and answers to questions given on Day Four, Uncle Rich preached for around three hours on purity. Sexual immorality is a huge problem. Of all the girls I know in Isiro (and there are many), I can name five who I know are not sexually active. Some people say that maybe one percent are pure till marriage.

Anna gave her testimony:

And so did Francoise. He gave some very clear details about the temptations in trying to stay pure. People were shocked…I know I was….but this subject is often taboo for parents and children to speak about together and it was good to get it into the open where it could be dealt with. Uncle Rich encouraged parents to support their children when they stand for purity.

His parents then talked about a purity ring program that is beginning for those who want to commit to purity. A few brave youth have pioneered this (including Anna and Francoise) and that day more committed to following the lessons and wearing the ring. Praise God! Yaya (also known as Bettina, she’s in the picture) has been praying for this for even longer than we have, and now her children (picture of their hands in the background) are giving courage to other youth to follow God’s way! Yaya and her husband have been a huge part of this conference: he does the summary and revisions in the mornings and she has done a great job translating for Uncle Rich.

At the end of the teaching there was a time for adults who wanted to make commitments to kneel in front in prayer…..it was incredible. Michelle (my little sister) said that she could feel something different in the air. People were crying. Repenting.

Pictures just don’t, can’t, won’t do it justice….

After the adults there was a time for the youth to come up and make commitments as well. I knelt with them, and it was incredible to be broken together with these youth, some of whom I have been praying for and talking with for years, all before our Awesome God.

Please pray now for the follow-up. So many people have caught a new vision, but now comes the hard part of living it out!

Thank you to all of you who made this happen: for those who have prayed, fasted, given, and read these blog posts. God used the conference and is using it for HIS GLORY!

DAY FOUR

I locked my bike and slipped onto a pew in between my friends. Day four of the conference. It seemed almost routine now to get up early, translate and print out the day’s resources, scramble to get everyone out of the house somewhat on time, set up at the church, and begin the program of prayer, summary from the last day, a several hour long lesson, and then small groups before lunch time.

I bowed my head as a pastor stood up to pray. The words of his prayer filled me with excitement and joy! I was so excited, I even took notes of it! This is some of it; “We were in confusion, far from God. We thought that we should put the work of God before our family, and that God would bless that. Now we have heard that we are responsible. God, forgive us! When we are right with You, we will be faithful fathers and husbands. There will be change in our families. Give us love!”

He spoke those words into the microphone as everyone sat hushed, heads bowed, hands clasped in their laps. And when he finished, we all said Amen. Let it be. Let it be!

Then the President of CECCA 16, the Protestant church we work with, stood up as usual to give his summary of the past days and answer questions. He restated many of the things the pastor had prayed, saying; “We thought that if we were Pastors and ignored our children, we’d still be angels. We need to take responsibility for our children…..Men will be able to be responsible ONLY in Jesus. A responsible man is one who loves God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength, loves his wife and children, being their spiritual leader, and THEN doing his ministry whole-heartedly. We keep flipping this order and putting the ministry first. Fathers, we must remember that we can help others, but we are only responsible for our own families.”

At this point, he brought up the question from the girls, What can we do to make our fathers show us affection so that we can have unity with them? Again, a murmur filled the church. The pastor called a young lady to stand up. Putting his arm around her shoulder, he asked; “If this is my daughter, would walking with her like this be a good thing?”

After some discussion, everyone said it would.

“Do our fathers do it?” No.

“According to our cultures, should we do this?” No.

“According to God’s Word, should we do this?” Yes.

“So who are we going to listen to?” God’s Word.

He read the summary of the under-twelve-year-olds’ discussion; “We don’t have our fathers affection….We don’t even have the desire to become friends with them….”

“So, fathers,” he said, “what are we going to do?”

Again, I was amazed at the response. Amazed, and grateful to our God who works miracles.

Their answer was this: We are going to CHANGE!

We are going to humble ourselves and ask their forgiveness.

Change, change, change! After courage, change is the most important word this week.

And I listen to the girl who is a Pastor’s daughter tell me that she has struggled with harsh words her father spoke to her since she was eight, the girl who’s struggled with being envious of the Jehovah Witness daughter who has a loving relationship with her father…..

And I listen to the Mamas with their marriage woes…..

And I listen and I praise God that there is a breath of transformation, that His people are asking for change!!!

Amen.

Let it be!

 

DAY THREE

Day Three we talked about fathers. The attitudes and behaviour of fathers have deep cultural roots, and today some of the problems were revealed. After Uncle Rich’s talk about God’s design for fatherhood, we divided as usual into small groups: fathers, mothers, young men, young women, boys and girls.

In my group of young ladies, I started out by asking them if there were any challenges/problems in the area of relationships with fathers. There was a unanimous cry of “yes! So many!” The girl next to me said, “I don’t know how to say this in Lingala, really….but what we’re really missing from our fathers is love. Like, knowing that he delights in us and is interested in us. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have a lot of money, we just need to know that he loves us.” I asked if any of the girls felt loved in that way by their fathers. None. Except me, of course. (I am incredibly blessed to have my father, by the way.) One girl went on this lengthy praise of the uncle she was staying at because he provided for them well and they never slept hungry. “Do you ever feel like your fathers don’t let you sleep hungry in body but you do sleep hungry in your hearts?” I asked. Girls were nodding. I felt like crying. These girls feel like all the guys are out to use them, their fathers don’t show them love, and they don’t have a real living relationship with Jesus. How do they live? We had an opportunity to ask some questions for pastors to answer the next morning and the first question they wanted to ask was, What can we do to make our fathers love us?

The young children (below twelve) were never really a part of our plan for this conference. But I am so, so thankful that they are there. Every day they sit still, listening closely. They are seated up front, and they notice everything. Then when they are given an opportunity in their group to ask questions, they ask. This morning, a very wise Congolese pastor was answering some of the questions and giving a summary of the last day. The children had asked, “If our parents leave us hungry, refuse to clothe us and pay for our school fees, if they neglect us, is it a sin not to obey them?” There was a loud murmur of surprise at the pointed question among the adult sections of the church, and the Pastor in the front turned to them. “What do we need to do?” he asked. The answer: we need to ask forgiveness. So he turned to the group of children sitting at the front and said, “Children, all of us parents here ask your forgiveness.” That was my favourite part of the morning session!!! It is so rare to see an adult apologizing to a child here!! And then he turned and asked the adults again, “Once we’ve asked forgiveness, what must we do?” The answer: we must change. Yes! We must change. That is what is being said again and again this week.

Again, the little boys asked, “Why in the pictures is Pastor Richard holding his baby when none of the men here hold babies? They always give them to a woman or an older child.” That again has deep cultural roots, and the pastors are uncertain how to answer. Two boys under ten years old made commitments today that when they grow up and marry, they would take the responsibility of raising their children to follow God.

There is so much hope with the children. With the women groups, there is a lot more discussion of issues that have risen after years of bad decisions. There are polygamous marriages, split families, and widows.

The men, who are primarily addressed in each session, are the ones who have showed the most openness to change and to challenge their ‘Goliaths’ in their families and societies. I don’t know much more than that, because I was not in their small groups and I did not talk with their leaders.

So God is doing a great work, and we are amazed! Now Uncle Rich moves on to the topics of marriage and healthy sex, also hot spots in this culture. Pray, pray, pray!

DAY TWO

Today was another great day. There were a lot more people than yesterday. Uncle Rich preached on many important topics, including the responsibility of a man to protect his family from bad influences. He told the story of David and Goliath (and had some people help act it out) and how men must stand up to the giants in their lives in the name of the Lord. And….there was a lot of other things, but I’m about ready to fall asleep. Please keep praying, and enjoy the pictures below. God is doing BIG things here, and it’s so exciting being a part!!!!!

this is the group that just kept talking way beyond the time limit…. Pray for changed hearts and courage to follow through on the decisions the men made during their discussion time.

Dr. Des, who came with Uncle Rich

praise God for the men who came!!

these kids are excited by the camera…but really, it is remarkable how still they sit to listen, and how well they answer and ask questions afterwards!

this is before all the benches filled up for the music festival part of the day. It looks like nice Sunday picnic weather, doesn’t it? It was HOT! Praise God that He’s kept the rain away so far this week!!

the first choir that sang (I’m in there!)

this is Goliath and David

challenging and encouraging the men in between choirs

Pray for open hearts, clear skies, good health (especially for Uncle Rich), accurate interpretation, and for the Holy Spirit to work mightily….

 

There were many more choirs (and hence there are many more pictures!), but I think it’s time for bed.

We praise God for some Uganda missionaries who came to help with the audio recordings, filming, and picture taking. It’s amazing how God has brought together so many nationalities and missions and churches to do this conference!

THANK YOU to all who are praying! This conference is more than what I hoped for! It is bringing transformation! As a last picture….. here’s one of the many reactions to the teaching/singing today;

 

Blessings! And keep praying!

DAY ONE

Today was awesome.

Uncle Rich kept everyone’s attention and used a bicycle, such a common tool here, as a powerful illustration. Many people said later that it had touched their hearts. A pastor said that when he asked the crowd of children who had been standing at the door questions, he could tell that they had been listening well.

Men were challenged. Uncle Rich’s message was powerful and the men responded with transparency and a desire to change. When we split into smaller groups (men, women, young men and young ladies), the men were talking the longest. Uncle Rich told me later that some were confessing how they had been involved in sorcery to get money or revenge on a murder. One spoke about the problems of having married two wives. Watching from a distance and waiting for them to finish, I saw them kneel. Pastors circled them, hands joined in prayer. I felt like bursting with joy! Here was the answer to our prayers!!

God is working.

It’s so exciting!

And the thousand?

Well, they didn’t all show up for the conference….but they were there for the music festival in the afternoon. The choirs sang well, and Uncle Rich gave a twenty minute challenge to the men. He did bike stunts again – which had everyone screaming and clapping and cheering! – and, like I said at the beginning, it was awesome. (I’ll put the pictures up another day.)

So keep praying for this conference. For tomorrow. For the rest of the week. This is all God. Only God. People are saying that, people are seeing that, people are hearing that.

God gets all the glory!

Pray that it will be that way right to the end……

Tomorrow Uncle Rich is going to speak about the way God created men and women to be different. Pray for soft hearts again….